Story of survival by Bethany Miles

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and as a survivor, this time of year serves as a reminder of the strength I found within myself, even when I felt broken. There are moments that redefine who we are, what we stand for, and how we see the world. This is my story.

My Story of Survival

Domestic violence was not something I ever imagined for myself. Like many, I once believed that abuse only happened to “other people,” never thinking I would find myself in the depths of it.

It started subtly, almost innocently- a raised voice here, a controlling gesture there. Slowly, my life became one of constant fear, manipulation, and isolation. The emotional abuse chipped away at my self-esteem until I barely recognized myself. I was convinced I was to blame for the problems in the relationship.

Leaving felt impossible. I was scared-scared of being alone, scared of what others would think, and most of all, scared of what my abuser would do if I tried to escape. But even in the darkest moments, there was a voice inside of me, faint but persistent, that whispered, you and your son deserve better.

Finding The Courage to Leave

The decision to leave didn’t happen over night. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. For the longest I struggled with shame and guilt, doubting whether I could survive on my own, If I could fix things If I stayed. The breaking point came one day when I realized the life I was living wasn’t living at all- it was merely existing in fear. With prayer, and help from trusted family and friends, I began planning my escape. I took small steps, first emotionally distancing myself from my abuser, then physically. It felt like stepping into the unknown, but it was a risk I was willing to take for our safety and sanity.

Rebuilding My Life

Leaving was just the beginning. The real work came afterward—rebuilding my sense of self, finding my voice again, and healing from the trauma. It wasn’t easy, and some days felt like two steps forward, one step back. But I learned that healing isn’t linear. Each day of freedom, no matter how hard, was a reminder that I had taken control of my life again.

Therapy played a huge role in my recovery. I learned to undo the emotional damage and rewire the way I saw myself. I began to see my worth, not as defined by someone else’s actions, but by my resilience and strength.

Breaking the Silence

One of the most important things I realized after surviving domestic violence is the power of breaking the silence. There’s so much shame wrapped around abuse, and that shame keeps many people from seeking help. But by sharing my story, I hope to empower others to realize they are not alone, and that there is life beyond abuse.

Domestic violence thrives in secrecy. That’s why it’s crucial that we speak up, not just for ourselves, but for the countless others who are still trapped in the cycle of abuse.

How to Get Help

If you are reading this and feel that you’re in a situation you cannot escape from, know that there are resources available. You are not trapped, even if it feels like it. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) is an invaluable resource, offering help 24/7. Don’t be afraid to reach out, even if all you need is someone to listen. Your safety and well-being matter, and help is closer than you think.

My Message to Survivors

To anyone who has survived domestic violence, I see you. I know the battle scars you carry, both visible and invisible. But I also know the power that comes from reclaiming your life. You are not just a survivor—you are resilient, courageous, and deserving of every good thing this world has to offer.

And to those still in the midst of it, please know that leaving isn’t easy, but it’s possible. You are stronger than you know, and there is a community of survivors ready to support you when you’re ready to take that step.

I survived domestic violence, and though it left its mark on me, it did not define me. I’ve found strength, hope, and healing on the other side, and I am committed to helping others find the same. October is a time to raise awareness, but the work continues year-round. Together, we can break the cycle of abuse, one voice at a time.