Done between the right people, for the right reasons, opening-up your relationship sexually won’t create any issues that can’t be easily overcome. First, you have to be the right type of person. This means that you and your spouse are the kind of people that can separate love from sex; you don’t feel that because you lust someone that you are in love with them. Generally people fall into two different groups when it comes to their attitude about sex: 1) those that feel that sex is an expression of love, and 2) those that see sex as a fun activity and don’t necessarily have to add any additional meaning to it beyond just having a good time. If you are in the first group, opening-up your relationship sexually wouldn’t be a good idea. If you are in the second group you are a good candidate to do it without having issues arise from it.
Second, jealousy is nothing but personal insecurity. It’s the fear that you are good enough for your partner and you are lucky they are even with you and if something else that was “better” came along they would leave you. Jealousy, at it’s root, is a feeling of low self-esteem and low self-worth. It is difficult for a secure and self-confident person to feel jealousy because they know that they are “good enough” and they don’t worry about others being preferred over them in any manner.
So if you and your husband are secure and self-confident people, who are secure in your relationship and in your value and worth to each other, than you are the right “type” to think about opening-up your relationship in the manner you are suggesting. If either of you questions your worth or value to the other, than this is something you shouldn’t be considering, at least now, until those feelings are resolved.
Third, you have to be doing it for the right reason(s). Opening-up your relationship sexually and allowing your partner their freedom to explore their sexuality with other people besides you is the most unselfish and trusting act you could ever do in your relationship. Therefore the act of doing so has to be fully appreciated by your partner and they have to be willing to reciprocate for you. This means that if they want to explore in some manner they have to allow you to explore in whatever manner you please too. This could mean that if they have a FMF fantasy and you a MFM fantasy, well then they better be open to fulfilling your fantasy if they expect you to help them fulfill theirs. When the street doesn’t go both ways it will cause resentment between you.
This has to be BOTH of your fantasy also, not just one. Doing this is helping your partner fulfill their fantasies WHILE YOU GET TO FULFILL YOUR OWN. If one person is being convinced, coerced or manipulated into doing it, it will cause problems in the relationship, and maybe some that can never be overcome. Guaranteed 9 out 10 relationship you hear about breaking-up after a threesome or moresome is due to this one single issue: someone “went along with it” just to please their partner.
“Threesomes”
